Sunday, August 30, 2009

Even knowing that you know, I can't tell you and I don't know why.

Monday, August 17, 2009

There ain't nothin' right, there ain't nothin' wrong.

Saturday, August 15, 2009


I haven't done this in a while. Well, I'm not working at OshKosh anymore which means I need to get a new job. Though they paid me shit, I miss working at OshKosh more than I should. I'm dreading having to find a new job and the longer I wait, the scarier it is. I moved into the apartment last week. Today I finally felt homesick. It's only been a week and I already miss my life in South Berwick. Things were finally looking up there. I was doing well in school, I had a job, my mom stopped screaming at me, and I was happy. I knew there were places I could escape to there. I feel like I'm being forced to start over again. I'm just afraid in going to fuck things up. I haven't left the apartment in three days. I think I'm just stalling. I want to put everything on pause for a while.Time just keeps flying by. I'm stuck.

I'm not really unhappy here. I think I'm just scared and excited to see what's in the future. I just have to find my place and adjust. I love living with Justin again. He and Camille have made moving here a lot easier. Them being here makes this place feel like home. I'm comfortable here. Camille, I'm not used to you being so far away when you're at home. I hate not being able to drive 5 minutes down the road to see you. I'm greedy, I want you here.

My parents are coming over tomorrow for an early dinner. I feel like I have to clean every inch of this apartment because god forbid my mother finds any dust or dirt anywhere. I just don't want her to be disappointed in me because "I'm not taking care of Justin properly" and keeping the place clean. They're bringing Rawry. I miss that spoiled imp of a cat. I promised my dad that if I honestly feel she isn't doing well here I'll bring her back. I'll keep that promise though it would be tremendously hard to let her go. That's my baby.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009


I have a haunted phone that calls Camille when I'm not looking...