babbling

ahhhh. hello. im bored, i thought watching the ghost hunters live would tickle my fancy but it just really doesn't. I've been thinking that i really want to go to college now. I just dont know what to do with myself anymore! I could stay in bed all day (like i pretty much did today) and it really wouldn't matter. You know what I really want? more fucking friends around here. I miss my friends=( but like maggie said, "what can you do?". I hope college will have some interesting people. It's actually really hard for me to make friends. I have come to the conclusion that either 1. people just don't like me or they think im a bitch(which im really not). and/or 2. I just don't trust most people. It's hard for me to invite people into my world because they'll probably just end up leaving or go against me and i hate that feeling. But I think I hate being lonely more so... fuck it i guess. I'll just have to harden my shell. But yeah I also have to go job hunting again because things can't frickin be that easy. blahhh i really don't want a job but i really need one. any suggestions? Im probably going to end up quiting every job i get after a week. or not, i guess i've never really had commitment issues. ommm okay, thats all.