move

I haven't done this in a while. Well, I'm not working at OshKosh anymore which means I need to get a new job. Though they paid me shit, I miss working at OshKosh more than I should. I'm dreading having to find a new job and the longer I wait, the scarier it is. I moved into the apartment last week. Today I finally felt homesick. It's only been a week and I already miss my life in South Berwick. Things were finally looking up there. I was doing well in school, I had a job, my mom stopped screaming at me, and I was happy. I knew there were places I could escape to there. I feel like I'm being forced to start over again. I'm just afraid in going to fuck things up. I haven't left the apartment in three days. I think I'm just stalling. I want to put everything on pause for a while.Time just keeps flying by. I'm stuck.

I'm not really unhappy here. I think I'm just scared and excited to see what's in the future. I just have to find my place and adjust. I love living with Justin again. He and Camille have made moving here a lot easier. Them being here makes this place feel like home. I'm comfortable here. Camille, I'm not used to you being so far away when you're at home. I hate not being able to drive 5 minutes down the road to see you. I'm greedy, I want you here.

My parents are coming over tomorrow for an early dinner. I feel like I have to clean every inch of this apartment because god forbid my mother finds any dust or dirt anywhere. I just don't want her to be disappointed in me because "I'm not taking care of Justin properly" and keeping the place clean. They're bringing Rawry. I miss that spoiled imp of a cat. I promised my dad that if I honestly feel she isn't doing well here I'll bring her back. I'll keep that promise though it would be tremendously hard to let her go. That's my baby.