money

I neeed a job so hard. I mean I really really neeed a job. I'm sick of filling out applications and passing them in only to find that hey, their not hiring. BS. I'm devoting this week to job hunting. I need to start saving money so that I can move near USM. Buut, I don't want to get a job and then see my grades slip. I need to get into USM and I can't really do that if my grades are shit. I'm soo frickin sick of not being able to pay for things. I hate not having money and the little money that I do get has to go right into my car. Alright so job hunting. I'm really tired of saying that I'm getting a job and then I don't. I want to slap myself every time I do it. I hate hate hate relying on people. I want to be independent. I really don't have a choice anymore, I haaave to work. No one (my parents) is handing me money anymore (which I totally understand. my parents just kind of cut me off completely all of a sudden. I really don't ask for much from them. I'm the least of their financial problems.) blah, money stresses me out so much. It's constantly on my mind, "am i going to have enough gas to make it to school","i'm almost out of shampoo, lotion, makeup, frickin everything". I hate feeling needy. I'm not needy. I know I can do things myself, It's just getting there where I need a little push. (wow, I used "I" a lot in this. I must love myself).