motivation. procrastination.

I need someone to push me in the right direction. I mean really push me. I hate being afraid of the things that I need to do. I need a job. I need to figure out what I want to do with my life. If everyone has a purpose in life, what the fuck is mine? My parents are sick of my bullshit and so am I. I don't know why I'm not more motivated. Shouldn't being sick of yourself be motivation enough to change. I find that the only time I actually try to make a difference in my life is when I'm angry. Maybe my mom screaming at me is really a good thing. At least then I want to move out and get away from everything. At least then I want to make money and be successful and throw it in her face. Right now my goals for 2009 is to do well in college and get a job(doing anything! jesus). Also I would really really really love to move out. I don't think that will be happening in 2009 though. I'll work on it. okay. I'm done. beep.