booo

This sad/stress thing comes in waves. Yesterday I woke up and I was fine for the whole day. Today I wake up feeling like shit and not wanting to do anything. I hate it. It's not as bad as when Justin went off to Montreal though. I was a hot mess then. Even when we were in high school and I knew he was leaving in like 8 months I was devastated. Now it's just about school and work and life among other things. I feel disconnected from things and the distance between me and the people I love growing. At this point I wouldn't blame them if they wanted to leave.

I've come to the conclusion that I am truly a type A on the inside but on the outside I'm (or i seem like I am) a type B. I hate putting on the act but that's pretty much what life is, a series of roles that we have to play.I just don't see the point anymore. I really try not to get stressed out about things. I'll even convince myself that nothing is wrong but it always comes back at full force. My back throbs from the amount of knots I have. I'm just so sick of it.

I want to tell you the things I'm afraid to say aloud. But instead I keep them hidden where they eat at me until I feel I could collapse.

We all flirt with the tiniest notion
Of self conclusion in one simplified motion
You see the trick is that you're never supposed to act on it